


Forever Partly Yours

by VivelaFrance24601



Series: Les Miserables Works Inspired by Songs [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: E/R is my favorite ship, Enjolras Has Feelings, Enjolras Is Bad At Feelings, Enjolras is ooc, Except for in this fic which might become multi-chaptered, Good Friend Combeferre, Grantaire is just Grantaire, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jehan is a wonderful friend, M/M, Sad Enjolras, Sad Grantaire, They deserve to be together forever, This is pure angst except for the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 05:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3883753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VivelaFrance24601/pseuds/VivelaFrance24601
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire stumbles home to the apartment he shares with Enjolras, only to find it empty.</p><p>Inspired by "Ignorance" by Paramore, but only slightly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Another Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fully completed fic! I hope you all enjoy it! If I get enough positive feedback, I may possibly make this multi-chaptered, but don't get your hopes up! I'll defiantly be posting more in the near future!

Grantaire stumbled into his apartment just past midnight with an empty bottle clutched in his hand. Expecting to see Enjolras asleep on the couch with a book on his lap, the heavily intoxicated man was surprised to see no Enjolras at all. Instead, he saw a piece of paper tacked to the fridge. Grantaire lifted the paper and scanned it, hoping Enjolras was just out for the night, but that was not the case.

 

Goodbye, Grantaire.

I can't love you right now. I can't keep going on like this and I'm sorry. This is for the best. I need time alone and you need time to get sober. I can't be around you when you drink. I can't deal with you when you're drunk all the time. It puts too much stress on me. When you fix your problem I will come back, but for now I need my space, and honestly, so do you. Maybe you can finally get back on track if I'm not around to distract you. Maybe you'll finally find your way. You are so full of potential, Grantaire, but you're wasting it in favor of drinking. It's not right. Just put the bottle downfor a while. I know you can do it. All you need is a little push, and I hopefully just gave it to you. You know, you deserve so much better than me. I can't even say goodbye to your face. Maybe I won't come back. Maybe this means we should go our separate ways. I don't know, Grantaire, I honestly just don't know. What I do know is: whether I come back or not, I will always miss you and I will will always, always, alwayslove you. No one can ever replace you, Grantaire.

Best wishes, Enjolras

 

After reading the note, Grantaire crumpled it and threw it across the room. Tears blurred his already foggy vision and he felt utterly helpless. The drunkard was frozen in place, feeling as if his heart was torn from his chest. He stood for what seemed an infinite amount of time until he finally grew tired. Only after he climbed into bed, fully clothed and holding onto a bottle as if for dear life, did Grantaire fall into a restless slumber filled with misshapen dreams of a certain golden-haired god.

~~~~~

Grantaire was sitting at a small table in Jehan's apartment waiting for his friend to come back. His mind was filled with many emotions about what he was soon going to do, but he had a sense of finality within him. Jehan was back soone than Grantaire had wished and gave the sitting man a thoughtful look.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" the poet asked.

Afraid that his already meager resolve would break if he spoke, Grantaire simply nodded. Jehan sighed as he placed a piece of red stationary and a pen in front of his friend and walked a short distance away.

For a few minutes, Grantaire stared into space, until he decided it was finally time to put pen to paper.

 

Dearest Apollo,

I saw you today. I know you saw me, too. You can't deny it. You stared right into my eyes but you ignored me. Do you know how much that hurt me? You completely ignored me. You treated me just like any other stranger. A stranger, Enjolras. After all we went through, you act like you don't even see me. I've been trying to hard for you, Apollo, but now I know how you really feel. I know that you know that I've been sober for a month. Combeferre said he had told you. You could've come back to me like you said, but you didnt. I had so much hope. Maybe you moved on, I don't know, but I have to let you go. You'll always hold a place in my heart and I don't think I could ever love anyone else like I loved -love-you. I love you and I miss you, my beloved Apollo.

Forever Partly Yours, Grantaire

 

Grantaire capped his pen, finding closure as he did so. He could now find a future where he could be happy. A flood of emotions rushed through him, a mixture of anger and relief, which left him hysterically laughing. Soon, however, the laughs turned to sobs. Hot years streamed down his face as he felt Jehan hug him from behind. Grantaire calmed down knowing that his friends would be there for him. With the help of his friends, he could possibly put himself back together. Maybe, one day, Grantaire could be happy again.


	2. Lies and False Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why Enjolras wrote the letter to Grantaire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've decided to write a second chapter, although this could be a stand a lone fic. There is a positivity for a third chapter, but I havn't really made too many plans for it, so don't get your hopes up. This is unedited, so all mistakes are mine. If you do see any mistakes though, please point them out! This is a very short chapter, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes, though!

Enjolras just couldn't take it anymore. He loved Grantaire, he truly did, but sometimes it was just too much to handle. He didn't even have his own life anymore, struggling to take care of both him and Grantaire.

Because of Grantaire's drinking problem, most of the money they earned went to the local bars that Grantaire went to every night, for he wouldn't be bothered to buy his own alcohol at a store. It was hard for Enjolras to stay in college while balancing two part-time jobs to help pay for student loans, their apartment, and Grantaire's alcohol. Sometimes they had to go without breakfast or dinner just to get by for the day.

Enjolras didn't blame Grantaire. It wasn't his fault that his abusive parents drove him to alcoholism as a teenager. He knew that his boyfriend couldn't help it. But he did know that Grantaire didn't even want to try and stop drinking.

If Grantaire didn't want to stop, Enjolras would just have to go. It was out of pure love that Enjolras finally made the decision to leave Grantaire. Enjolras knew he was a distraction for Grantaire, and if he was gone, he knew that Grantaire would try to become sober for him.

It would hurt him to leave Grantaire. It would pain him deeply. Every second of the day he would miss the only man he loved with every piece of his heart, but it was for the best.

Enjolras knew that once he left, he would never be able to go back. If he did go back, he knew it would only be a matter of time before Grantaire started to drink again. He also knew that he would be breaking Grantaire's heart, just like he was breaking his own, but Grantaire would eventually recover. He had wonderful friends in, even if he didn't realize it, all of the Amis and they would be able to take care of him for Enjolras.

That was why, when Grantaire was out getting drink at the Musain, Enjolras packed up a duffel bag  and walked out of his apartment, only pausing to take a picture of him and Grantaire off of the refrigerator and replace it with a letter full of lies and false hopes, promising Grantaire he would return.


	3. Can't or Won't?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjolras tries to explain to Combe Ferre why he can't go back to Grantaire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I just read the first two chapters less than an hour ago and an idea to continue this just randomly popped into my head. So, more than a year later, here's another little snapshot that delves deeper into the plot of Forever Partly Yours.
> 
> I wrote this on a whim in less than an hour so this is not edited at all. If there's any huge gigantic glaring mistakes, please point them out so I can fix them.
> 
> Enjoy!

"I can't, 'Ferre, I just can't," Enjolras said, sadness lingering in his voice and showing in the deep frown on his face.

"Can't or won't?" his friend replied.

"Both," huffed Enjolras, shoulders slouched over in defeat.

"Why? You know how much he cares about you, Enj. He's tried so hard and it's working. It was so hard for him at first, but he did it. He hasn't touched a drink in a month for you and you repay him by leaving. Do you know how much pain he's  _still_ in? 

"He was so determined to stop right after he read your note. He called Jean right away and they went through the apartment, throwing out each and every bottle of alcohol. It hurt him so much. He went cold turkey and it was a horrible thing to see. He got better, but the pain was still there. He thought you were coming back and when you didnt, it absolutely crushed him. He's still out of sorts. He really loves you, Enj, and I think you're being selfish by avoiding him."

"I can't go back. He's doing so well now. If I just appear out of no where, don't you think that he'll start drinking again? I left and he's doing fine because he's being responsible for himself. When I was with him, he relied on me for everything because all he did was drink. I worked for him, I shopped for him, I payed the bills for him and in return all he did was spend my money in the Musain! As much as I loved taking care of him, I didn't want to be the one to have to take care of his medical bills, too! You know how much he drank! I'm surprised he doesn't have any serious liver damage because of his non-stop alcohol consumption!

"It scared me. He scared me, 'Ferre," Enjolras whispered, voice cracking with pain and tears welling up in his eyes.

"I know, Enj. But you still shouldn't have left him like that."

"I loved him. I  _love_ him. I hurt then just as much as he does now. It was terrifying to see him spiraling down into a whole he couldn't get out of. I wanted to help him. I tried, but he wouldn't let me. He wouldn't even talk to me about his problems. I didn't leave because I didn't love him. I left because I love him too much. I couldn't stand to see him in his condition and I definately couldn't handle saying goodbye to his face.

"He seems to be better off without me in his life, and as much as it hurts me, I need to stay away from him. If you can't understand my decision, 'Ferre, then I can't be around you for now either. I need time just like Grantaire does. I hurt just as much as him.

"Please don't try to convince me to go back to him, because I wont. But if you do see him, please tell him that I still love him and that I'm proud of him. He needs to know."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few more ideas for more little snapshots to add to this. I don't know if I will add them in the near future, but if I get some positive feedback (including constructive criticism which is highly needed) I just might post them sooner :D


End file.
